Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
