I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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