Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
