oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
