dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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