Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
