Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
