she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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