we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
