My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
