And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
