Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
