Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize