what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Randomize
