I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
