And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
