hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
