does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
