my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
