I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
