I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
