i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
