in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
