so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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