she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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