WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
