I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
