Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
