i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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