I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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