Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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