Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
