hell yes lets make some ravioli
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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