Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He felt like a one man threesome
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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