I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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