its not stalking. its research.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize