ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We were destined to go to rehab together
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
