but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
