We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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