We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
