so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
