I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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