OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
whose parrot is this?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
