OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize