That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize