I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
