PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize