The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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