Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
