what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's rum buckets o'clock
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
