C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
