And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
