fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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