So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
