I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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