i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just gargled with NyQuil
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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