I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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