Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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