Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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